Counting Down...

The path through life that has lead me here is interesting. I wrote about it once, putting together everything I thought was important into a record from first memories right into my middle years. I didn't finish it before deleting it. I regret that but only for the focus being on the wrong side of everything. Perhaps one day, for my children, I will try again, and be more balanced, and honest. But not too honest. The truth, but not all of it. But definitely balanced.

Time marches me into the last third of life. Half of everything around me reminds me that I need to prepare to retire. The rest tells me I will never have enough and will never retire. This latter message is the one gaining more traction. 

I don't even know what retirement means. I'm only mid fifties but all sources now tell (and berate) me that I should have been doing this since my 30s or 20s. And yet I did, and it is still not enough.

I envy my friends who have houses spare that they can sell. Those that had the luck to be in the right relationship or right family to inherit enough that retirement is paid for already. Those that worked hard and made enough in contributions are even more envied. However, I made my decisions, and I am where I am. This story is all my own making.

So what next?